damn. it got real up in that memory cave

arbitrarily:

TOP SIX FEMALE TELEVISION CHARACTERS ;  2 0 1 1 

· Jane Timoney, Prime Suspect
· Britta Perry, Community
· Ladonna Batiste-Williams, Treme
· Ellie Torres, Cougar Town
· Cersei Lannister, Game of Thrones
· Jane Kerkovich-Williams, Happy Endings

{ HONORABLE MENTIONS : Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation), Bel Rowley (The Hour), Penny Hartz (Happy Endings), Virginia Chance (Raising Hope), Lydia Adams (Southland), Ann Perkins (Parks and Recreation), Donna Meagle (Parks and Recreation), Esther Randolph (Boardwalk Empire), Kenzi (Lost Girl) }

rufustfirefly:

Alan Sepinwall: What does Nick Offerman need to do to get himself a nomination already? 

Amy Poehler: A lot of people don’t know that just last week, Tom Selleck presented him with a Lifetime Mustache Award, which a lot of people don’t know. He’ll always have that, and they can’t take that away from him. But it’s a hot load of bullshit that he didn’t get a nomination, and you can quote me on that. But I suspect and hope that will change. And certaintly that field, there’s a lot of talented men vying for that position. If you asked Nick, he’d say the show is represented. But I would say his work on the show is the best stuff on TV, and he deserves every award. A lot of people don’t know that Nick designed all of the costumes in “Game of Thrones.

gaysubtexts:

The Wisdom of Jean-Ralphio

“Yesterday if you would’ve asked me, I would’ve said no. But thank God my grandfather just died so I am A-FLUUUUSHED WITH CAAAAASH!” (2.17 “Woman of the Year”)

“What about your trust fund?” “My parents had it amended. I don’t get anything until I’m 50, which is a waste because I’m going to be a billionaire in Costa Rica by then. Eatin’ dolphin and hangin’ out with lady singers.” (2.17 “Woman of the Year”)

“Just bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce—now all the ladies sayin’!—bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce. What do you say, sexy?” (2.17 “Woman of the Year”)

“One time I waited outside a woman’s house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.” (2.23 “The Master Plan”)

“I would start with a joke, joke—Vince Vaughn quote, obviously…Fred Claus. Talk about Andy’s ex-girlfriends, quote from Love Actually. Hold back your tears, pause…drop the microphone, get out of that bitch. *explosion noise*” (3.09 “Fancy Party”)

“K to the N to the O-P-E, she’s the dopest little shorty in all Pawnee, Indiana.”(3.13 “The Fight”)

“R to the O to the N-N-N, I say Swanson’s got swagger the size of Big Ben Clock.”(3.13 “The Fight”)

“Go B to the O to the double-S, do what he say and you’ll be success-ful.” (3.13 “The Fight”)

“Why don’t you turn that friz-own upside dizzity.” (3.13 “The Fight”)

“I made my money the old fashioned way: I GOT RUN OVER MY A LEXUUUUUS!”(3.16 “Li’l Sebastian”)

“Which one floats your penis?” (3.16 “Li’l Sebastian”)

“Hope you brought a change of clothes. Because your eyes are about to piss tears.” (3.16 “Li’l Sebastian”)

I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero initiative. He’s not a team player. He’s never one to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.

(Source: evenkate)

(Source: wouldbeheavenly)

goodnightjess:

20 DAYS OF PARKS AND RECREATION
(day three) favorite april ludgate scene

Man: Oh, excuse me, I had a meeting with Ron Swanson yesterday but I had a little car trouble.
April: Sorry he’s busy right now.
Man: Oh, well, can I reschedule?
April: Sure. Mmm, how about June 50th?
Man: Sorry?
April: Do you think you could come back today at 2:65? He’s available then.
Man: What is going on?
April: Looks like the only other day he has open is Marchtember Oneteenth. Does that work, sir?

(Source: goodbyeleadworth)

I have been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It’s a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include: Capitalism, God’s way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. Crying, acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.